“Time flees from my hand like sand in the wind”
Victor Hugo
Time is mercurial. Although I knew it had been “a while” since Mrs. Grumpy made an appearance here – I didn’t realize it had been 18 months.
As I grow older I am becoming aware of how time speeds up. No1 Son tried to explain it to me once. How at 2 years old one year is equivalent to 1/2 a life time. At 50 a year is what? 1/50th of a life. My Mother wonders what I am worrying about and says I should see how quickly time goes from the perspective of your late 70′s.
But it concerns me … the fact that there is never enough time. Things get left undone, or more worryingly unremembered because the days fly past.
I am lucky – aside from family and friends I have two passions gardening and textile art. Doubly lucky as gardening is my job. Of course, both have the capacity to gobble up mountains of time. When I am in the garden or studio I am there, in the moment, working and exploring. While it may not always be easy, it is where I want to be.
Sadly, I find that I am neglecting to do things, send Birthday cards, phone a friend, walk on the beach, sit and listen, marketing my art. (Although if I am honest the last is only partially to do with time and more to do with the fact that I am bad at marketing myself, I hate doing it so it gets pushed to the bottom of the pile, all the time).
Another worrying thing is that at the age of 55 (Counts on fingers … ) Yes 55, is that I am now forgetting stuff on a day to day basis, where my car keys and glasses are – hang on … I have always forgotten those two things! But I think I am forgetting what people tell me and I am starting to forget thoughts and ideas that I have for the garden or studio work. Actually I do have notebooks for thoughts and ideas, but I am not sure where they are just at this moment in time.
On my computer I have all sorts of programmes and gizmos to help. A diary, things to do lists and Birthday reminders. They pop up 4 days before the due date. In the case of a Birthday plenty of time to go and buy a card, write it and send it. However I come in from work, the garden, the studio look at this reminder bouncing on my desktop, think that I will do “it” whatever it is tomorrow, promptly forget it and then I am a week late in sending the Birthday card. Or (as is the case currently) book an opticians appointment, send the cheque for Shedmans Christmas present, post the packets of seeds I promised (Helen, Esther, Janet. Tomorrow, I guarantee I will do it tomorrow – or failing that Wednesday).
One of my customers “M” who is nearly 90 tells me it is because I am not trying hard enough and she is probably right. I am not attending to time. The older I get the more I need to care for time and the more I need to really register when all those bells and whistles pop up on my computer telling me there is something that needs my attention more than the gardens I tend or the studio.
I don’t have a bucket list – at the moment there is nothing I want to do before I die, except love my children and my grandchild, plant a large multi-stemmed silver birch and see the Northern lights. Oh! and learn how to keep scented pelargoniums through the winter. Gardeners and Artists don’t retire, they just slow down. I would however like to do the things I need and want to do mindfully and not get things done “in the nick of time”.
You would think, that as a gardener, living as close to the seasons as we do I would have some inkling of the passage of time. ”A time to plant a time to harvest” . Somehow I am not translating this into the rest of my life, a time to turn up at my wordpress dashboard and write a post, takle the huge pile of ironing, or make my christmas cards. I am often heard to exclaim “I don’t have time too …” but of course I do have time, I sometimes simply neglect to use it responsibly. I love what I do, but I would just like 2 or 3 more hours in each day. Then perhaps I could get the last of those pesky tulips planted!
So how about you, is time fleeing from your hands like sands in the wind?
You are not alone, Karen. It does seem like the day is shorter than it used to be, and the years, too. You are lucky to do a job that you enjoy.
It is Karen, faster than I want it to move. I have to work harder at mindfulness; harder at following through. Btw, the Northern Lights are on my Bucket List, too. xxoogail
Maybe you are like the attorney who had three different ‘calenders’ on his computer and missed a court date, not paying attention to details. Depend upon yourself more and the computer less.
Let’s see. When I was fifty-five a cow knocked me flat and fractured two vertebrae. I retired 7 years later after our adult son was killed by an out-of-control vehicle as he sat on a motorcycle he wasn’t riding. Another 7 years have passed. Life changes, as do priorities. I make lists, but they are not in a bucket.
Tempus fugit Full stop!
best
R
Rubbed out everything I’ve just written in this box and have gone back to empty. Your post inspired so many thoughts I found I was writing what was amounting to a post here. I’ll have to write one now – only back in my space! Looking forward to seeds but not feeling anxious about them – if time flies (as it does) one hardly ever feels one is ‘waiting’ for anything!
Time does fly by, memory fails at times, I’m rapidly approaching 70( still feel 35 !), can’t do as much physical work as I used to, but don’t worry about it. I think in todays modern world we all try to do far too much and be wonder woman. As long as we have our priorities right, then be happy ! I think there will be a queue of us wanting to see the Northern Lights !
Wow Karen, I can relate to quite a lot here too! Lol… I was up very early with daughter this morning, I used the time to decorate our Christmas tree (didn’t manage to do it last night) before I had my breakfast… mm… I sat at this PC whilst having my breakfast… how much time has passed now?
Yep… got the Apps for organising, to do list mad I ‘could be’! Lol… then you’ve got to open the silly things and look at them though haven’t you? Yep… and when the reminders come to life on your phone… you just swipe them away and forget about them!
Yep… each day is a new one… lol… the plans to catch up with one thing often change as I flutter around to this and that and find myself in a bigger pickle than I started. Must stay focused today… must stay focused… really must stay focused… really must switch off this PC!
I’m going now… really I am… just want to gloat on getting my 270 crocus bulbs planted yesterday… yay
There is never enough time but then again I think thats because I try to fit more into the time I have than there is time to do if you see what I mean. If we lived dull lives we would have time on our hands. I like to think I’m good at time management its one of my strengths which is why people seem to think I am incredibly organised or do things twice as fast. But it is a mindset – you need to plan a little ahead. Things like checking the calendar each week when I do the weekly shop to see if I need any birthday cards but then you dont do a weekly shop.
I think, and dont take this the wrong way, that as your occupations are self-employed and apart from turning up when you say you will you dont have to account for what you do that this has had an adverse affect on your management of time. If you had to work in an office, like me, your time would be even more limited and you would have to had a mindset of maximising every moment outside of work.
But then saying that I go upstairs and cant remember why!
A great post, Karen. I turned 50 this year and it seems to have a marked a change in my thinking. Although I still wonder ‘What shall I do next?’, I also wonderelmuch more often ‘So, if you died tomorrow, what have you actually achieved?’ I do take some inspiration from stories of people whose best work was in their later years. I suspect the real answer lies in stopping all the fretting about what I have or haven’t done and just try to be a good friend/wife/mother/earthling.
Time passes far too fast now – I used to think I had lots of time to do everything, now I think that a day wasted is a day I will not see again. I loved your post Karen – very thought provoking.
I feel this too and I’m in my mid 30s. I think it is a condition of modern life. All these books about what you must do before you die. We’re made to feel guilty if we’re not constantly achieving and ticking things off lists. When in reality just living – cooking, cleaning, shopping, earning money all take up an enormous amount of time even though we have all this modern technology around us that was meant to free us up. I think it is important to make time for the things that matter, the things you would feel guilty about if you didn’t do them and then just buy post-it notes in bulk, like my mum does and have little yellow pieces of paper dotted around the house as reminders of everything that needs doing!!!
It certainly has speeded up, and I find I resent spending it on silly unnecessary things like work, being on hold for HMRC at work, pointless arguing with BT, still being on hold for HMRC… memo to self: must do lottery. ‘It could be me’ and then I wouldn’t have to work. Mind you, might still have to spend time talking to HMRC and arguing with BT. Ho hum.
Try this for the pelargoniums?
http://gardeningingermany.blogspot.com/2011/01/overwintering-pelargonium-geraniums.html
I am frightened by how time flies, since I am not employed, just a wife with a house to run and a garden to tend, and a blog. Also grateful that time does not hang heavy, what shall I do?? The memory slips away, I look at plants and scrabble frantically for The Name, the name!
I think everyone else has expressed my feelings on this subject, so can’t add anything apart from thanks for the idea for your stocking filler pressy!
I find that I expect too much from myself, and then boarder on frantic to get it all done. Managing my time has meant being more realistic with myself, letting go what is not as important, though I might long to do it. Submit to what is before me in a day (like the washing, ironing, etc) and try to let go of when everything else will fall into place. Sometimes it just falls through the cracks. I am learning to accept that, I guess.
Great post. Thanks for your honesty.
Julie
I am at an age where is doesn’t particularly bother me if I can put off till tomorrow the things that should be done today – my memory definitely isn’t what it was (er what was I saying.
As they say, time flies when you’re enjoying yourself, so we should be grateful it is flying. Finding some moments to just STOP and enjoy the light, the rainbow, a butterfly is just as important as getting everything done. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Christina
disasterously fast – perhaps meditation can slow it down.
A lovely post Karen. I meant to reply sooner but guess what?
When retired folk said “I don’t know how I found the time to go to work” my reaction in younger days used to be one of scornful disbelief. Now I have joined their ranks I know where they are coming from. I think that there’s no rush anymore as I have got more time to do things in so I am slower at getting things done. Also as I come to terms with the fact that my time left on this earth is diminishing the more I realise I want to do! The Northern Lights is on my list too 
Well, like so many I am agreeing with everything you say – the Northern Lights are on my list (the Hurtigruten mailship would be my favourite way to see them, I think) and as for my garden … I’m about to post the blog of shame, NONE of the things I said I would do last year have been done …
Oh goodness I could have written this post, although I am not an artist! I forget things now in a way I never used to do. I used to pride myself on my memory but now if it is not written down it probably won’t happen. I mind a lot more than I used to do about how I spend my time too but I find if I spend too much time thinking about what I should be doing, or want to do, it doesn’t realy help. What helps me is consciously trying to be the best friend, mother, wife, daughter that I can be from time to time. I will spend time in the greenhouse or planting tulips. To be sure I will send cards and remember to ring people (both things I have always been crap at) I have to step back and think rather than do. I could so easily write a huge long comment here that, like Esther, I might just have to go back to my own place and do my own!
There is an award for you on my own blog. You are under no obligation to accept it, I just wanted to let you know I enjoy reading your blog. The only conditions if you do accept are to link back to my blog, copy and paste the award onto your blog and then nominate 5 of your own favourite blogs and give them the award too. Best wishes.
“Gardeners and artists don’t retire they just slow down”. I loved that line. With one gardener and one artist in the house this hit very close to home. In both there is always so much more to express and create.
Well, as gardener and artist, I know where your’re coming from! Time disappears,it just goes. I have goals,try to meet them,but time slides under my planning like a river .Catch the moment and enjoy what it gives,then the next one…
It all sounds very familiar to me. I go upstairs for something, by the time I’ve climbed the 12 steps it’s forgotten. Back down again ans as I reach the bottom I remember what it was I wanted. Ah well…it keeps me exercised I suppose!
Anyone over 50, hears a note of familiarity in your post! When I began my blog last year, it was to learn more, share more, and what was the third thing….hmmmmmm – I am with you on the forgetfullness!
Wow! We have a lot in common. Now I have added reading your blog to my list. Don’t worry, be happy… Can you hear me humming here? You are right about the Northern lights. They are magical.
Karen, I had never heard of a bucket list until recently. I don’t think I need one as such. I just need to make an effort to do things that are important and not procrastinate. I saw the Northern Lights a few times when we lived in Orkney and they are amazing, nothing quite like it…
Lovely pictures of nicandra physalodes. I’m looking forward to growing them and hopefully posting a photo or two next year!
A very thought-provoking post, Karen. I’m 45, but ME causes short-term memory loss, so I’ve been forgetting things for years. I survive by making lots of lists – every evening I write a new list of things I need to do the next day. I’m increasingly finding that I don’t have time for everything though – even though my health has improved a bit this year I still need to rest 11 hours out of 24 (on a good day; more on a bad day), which is so frustrating when I really want to be out & doing things! I do think I could manage my time better and waste less of it though, and the advice from your elderly customer about attending to time and prioritising properly is very good.
A happy Christmas to you and Shedman!
Thank you for this post. I’ve been feeling as though “time” has been indeed Flying By!! When I think, ‘Where did November go, much less December?’ … the entire year itself has gone this way!! Keeping up with the fleeting time is also difficult, in that the challenge is actually finishing projects! LOL … when I remember what I was doing earlier, as I go from one thing to another! LOL.
Best Wishes for the remainder of this holiday season and for the upcoming NEW year!
I can relate to so much of what you are saying in this post Karen. And I do spend a lot of time thinking about time. For me…there is just never enough for all the things I want to do. But for now, it is time to wish you a very happy holiday season and a wonderful 2012!
And I thought you were still about 30. Bad practice to admit your age! luv young ken
I read your last post by Mrs Grumpy…and realized it had been at LEAST 18 months since I’ve been over to visit your blog! At 54 I feel exactly as you do, Karen! Time…always with us, but so elusive! And the ‘effects of time’…especially on the memory and thought processes…YES, I can relate so well to your experiences. Scary, sometimes, isn’t it!?! What hasn’t changed since I have been here last is your ability to share your thoughts and write great blog post;-) Happy New Year to you & yours–all good wishes for 2012 and beyond!
Changed my comment here to a post http://goo.gl/7DoOd
Esther
http://mblogs.discovermagazine.com/cosmicvariance/2011/09/01/ten-things-everyone-should-know-about-time/